2k13

  what a cliché title. well I haven't written here for about 7 months, and this honestly feels weird. I haven't written anything to myself in what seems like ages. I don't know if I'll ever use this blog after this post but who knows, I'd maybe post some random mind rambles where I tend to spill out everything that's in my head. 

  so 2013. well, 2013 for me has been quite shit if I have to be honest. I've had major panic attacks, my social anxiety has worsen and there was one point that I literally felt like I didn't want to exist. no I didn't feel like I wanted to kill myself, but I just felt like it would be so so so much easier if I could just disappear and never even existed. everything was so tiring and I gave up about 87% of the time. explains the shit results I got for my major exams. ((and so much friend drama it's not even funny oh my go d))

  in about mid May, I started this fan account and honestly it's the best decision I've made in a long time. I made loads of new friends that I love and cherish so much. you know who you are.

goes to show not everyone on the internet is a 56 year old pedophile. cough. 

  the only devastating part is that I won't be able to meet them physically anytime soon. well FaceTime and Skype works for the time being I guess.

  well, 2013 has been a shit year but I met so many people that helped me overcome it and I'm so so fucking grateful to have found them. I literally don't know where or how I would be if I haven't met them. 

  I'm sort of glad that 2013 is gonna be over because I really need to start a clean slate and I need to learn from my many mistakes I've done this past year. it's been a blur to be honest. 

  I have a feeling that 2014 is gonna be a good year for me. no one knows for sure but hey, a girls gotta dream right? 

 cough